Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Mammoth

When God looked upon His creation, He saw that something was missing, and so He created the Mammoth. So delighted was He with the concept, that He created the African Mammoth, the Armenian Mammoth, the Columbian Mammoth, the Pygmy Mammoth, the Imperial Mammoth, the Jeffersonian Mammoth, the Steppe Mammoth, the Southern Mammoth, the South African Mammoth, the Woolly Mammoth, the Sardinian Dwarf Mammoth, and the Songhua River Mammoth. He also created spin-off species such as the Mastodon. He sprinkled them throughout the world, and then He sat back and admired His handiwork.

The Mammoth, truly, was Good. It foraged through the forests and the plains of the world, its trunk gently swaying back and forth, foraging and eating of the Earth's plants. God was pleased with the Mammoth.

However, then God became angry, in large part because man was slaying the mighty Mammoth. So He sent a flood, so as to send a clear, unambiguous message about the importance of Mammoth preservation.

However, God is not immune to ironic plot twists, and the Mammoth was destroyed by the flood, in spite of His clear injunction to save a supply of them on a boat. The Mammoths were too big, except for the dwarf Mammoths, and they were overlooked, owing to their being dwarfs.

God was very sad, but He tried to recreate the Mammoth. Unfortunately, His memory was imperfect, and He could not quite recall the exact blueprints. Nonetheless, He tried, and the result was the Elephant, African and Asian.

God likes the Elephant well enough. Does He like them as much as the long-lost Mammoth? This I cannot tell you, for who can fathom the mind of God? There is, however, a precedent, and to be on the safe side of divine wrath, I would strongly recommend leaving the Elephant in peace. We know what happens to those who do not remember history.


Blogger Unknown pontificated to the effect that...

Well said.

1:59 PM  

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