Thursday, February 02, 2012

The Five Most Conservative Pynchon Novels

(CF here and here.)

I wrote this some time ago (December 30, 2009, per the date stamp), but then I forgot about it.  I just came across it again, so I figured why not toss it up here?  And you know, I will bet you real money that if I were wholly devoid of shame, I could, with very minimal revision, get the National Review to publish it fer serious.

In the Whole Sick Crew, we see a shocking object lesson in what happens when traditional conservative family values are abandoned.  In the character of Herbert Stencil, we see good, traditional, hard work personified.  Does Stencil whine to the government to help him with his quest for V.?  No!  He pulls himself up by his bootstraps and calls on the old-fashioned values of self-reliance!

The Crying of Lot 49

Oedipa Maas is a strong, self-proclaimed Republican--like Sarah Palin!  The breakup of her marriage is shown to have been caused by permissive, liberal drug culture.   As the focus on the work of Richard  Wharfinger demonstrates, dead white males have something to offer us, in spite of what liberal academic relativists would tell you.

Gravity's Rainbow

Oberst Enzian--working to prevent abortions among his people so as to avoid tribal suicide.  A powerful pro-life statement!  Nazis are shown to be bad, demonstrating moral clarity, which liberals, of course, lack.  The rocket limericks demonstrate the value of military hardware.  Slothrop's fragmentation shows what happens to people in a world where liberal values run rampant.


The failure of the hippie movement is depicted, as is the fundamental instability of these anti-establishment peaceniks.  Frenesi's behavior shows what happens when Family Values are abandoned.  The lengths to which our heroic troops are forced to go to to win the War on Drugs are vividly dramatized.

Mason & Dixon

America is shown to be a wild, unstable, chaotic place full of things like werebeavers and enormous vegetables.  It's up to our intrepid, white heroes, representative of Western Civilization, to bring some order to the area.


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