What happens when you try to read The Onion in Indonesia?

This happens:

I don't object to the ironic xenophobia on the basis that it's per se offensive, though I do object to it on the grounds that it's lazy and not funny; the Onion at its best is capable of being WAY more offensive and WAY more funny than this.  But really, that's neither here nor there.  What I really object to is the rather obvious way that they're using this weak-ass comedy to self-consciously try to deflect attention from the fact that, what the fuck, seriously, you want MONEY from me?  It's not even that the money itself would be a big deal (though that "$0.99 for the first month" does look ominous); it's that I do not like that they are attempting to gull me in such a clumsy, unsubtle way (and that "help" button doesn't clarify anything; it just goes to a generic online-publication-login site that the Onion is using).  If you want me to pay money, please provide an explanation of why you think this is reasonable.  There is a very high chance that I will respond by saying, no, fuck you, that's bullshit, but at least I won't resent you and refuse to subscribe in principle, the way I do now.

Pointless Dreams lead to Pointless Posts!

I had this ridiculously lame dream where I was planning a blog post where I would list all the direct quotes in Smiths songs.  Riveting!  I think I must've had this because quotes and indirect quotes were active in my brain from teaching.  Anyway, it was inevitable that this dumb dream-post would become reality.  The criterion is "direct quote that is definitively attributed to someone other than Morrissey himself."  There are a fair few bits where he quotes himself, but if you start down that road, you seriously won't know where to stop.  Slippery slope, people.  Like box turtle marriage.

Anyway, pointless compendium after the link.  Not that I've done research or anything, but I really do get the impression that they did this a lot more than most other bands.  Is that why my subconscious dredged it up?  The thought has certainly never consciously occurred to me.

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Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha (1605 & 1615; trans. John Ormsby, 1885)

Okay, so there's probably not a whole lot I can say to shine any additional light on a novel like Don Quixote, but hey, I read it, and I wanted to make that fact known.  I'm trying to fill in some of the more notable holes in my literary education, of which this book was possibly the biggest.  A lot of people (NB: I'm restricting my comments to the Anglosphere here) know the basic concept, but not too many know about in any depth.  How many people can name an episode from the book other than "tilting at windmills?"  I sure couldn't have before picking it up.

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

I have to put my foot down: the action sequences in Captain America: The Winter Soldier are really notably badly edited.  I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm just noticing it more this time out, though I don't know why that would be, but I really have the feeling that the problem is greater here than in previous Marvel movies.  The camera is constantly cutting and flipping all over the place, and this oft makes it way more difficult to follow the action than it ought to be.  

In light of which it seems weird to say that Captain America: The Winter Soldier is really great fun--one of the best in the whole extended series.  The whole paranoid, conspiracy-thriller aspect of the story is something that's entirely new to the franchise, and it works really well.  A scene of building tension as more and more people crowd onto an elevator at different floors is extremely well-done (even if one wishes the denouement had been a bit less obvious).  The other big winner, for me, was a chase scene with Nick Fury--in previous movies, Samuel L Jackson's character had been basically above the fray, never in any actual danger, so it was actually kind of shocking, in an exciting way.

And what the hell--I really like The Captain himself.  It's odd that such a corny character could be brought to the screen so well, but I think he's one of my favorite characters in the franchise, topped only by Mark Ruffalo's incarnation of Bruce Banner, and maybe Loki.  Good characters, good story, good laugh-lines--what more do you want?  Well, okay, yes, less choppy action, but the best action scenes nonetheless work in spite of themselves.  I'm happy with this one.

I also appreciated the swipes it took at the modern security state--no, they're not the most coherent or biting, but hey, for a movie of this sort, they're okay.  Certainly a lot better than the frankly laughable effort at same in The Dark Knight.  But here's the real question: if you're a wingnut, do you hate the movie because it suggests that immediately murdering every terrorist or potential terrorist ever is a bad idea, so it must be pro-Obama, who, as we know, Coddles Terrorists…or do you love it because right now Obama's in charge so you can blame all our security overreach on him and pretend like you've always had a problem with it, and by extension read the movie as anti-Obama?  It's a tough one.  What a tragic life does the Zhadovite lead!  On consideration, though, I'm afraid the presence of Robert Redford in the movie is quite likely to tip the scales in favor of "hate."  Bit of a pain to hate all media that you can't obviously co-opt, I should think.

Midwinter, "Sanctuary Stone" (1973)

This is the best-known song by the seventies psych-folk outfit Midwinter, which later turned into Stone Angel and continues to release music to this day.  It's a really beautiful song with great singing.  Unfortunately, when you listen to the lyrics, you realize they're a little on the half-baked side.  It's trying to mimic that traditional, Child-ballad-type feel, but, well...okay, I guess I shouldn't be too hard on them; a lot of traditional songs, if we're being honest, have pretty lame lyrics too.

In any case, I noticed that they were available nowhere on the internet, so I transcribed them.  JUST YOU WAIT: now that I'm putting them up here, soon enough they'll be available on all manner of lyrics sites, none of which will credit me.  So it goes.

A young man on a light black horse

Came riding through the wind and rain

Afraid of those who came behind

To try to take him back again

Seven times 'round put your ear to the ground

Can you hear the devil calling?

All on your own by the sanctuary stone

As the winter rain starts falling

For he had slain his own true love

The day before they were to wed

He's mounted on his big black steed

And left his lady lying dead

Seven times 'round put your ear to the ground

Can you hear the devil calling?

All on your own by the sanctuary stone

As the winter rain starts falling

He's rode all through the day and night

And rode again another day

But still they follow close behind

That never he might ride away

Seven times 'round put your ear to the ground

Can you hear the devil calling?

All on your own by the sanctuary stone

As the winter rain starts falling

At last he's reached the sanctuary stone

Time to stop and rest a while

So here's to you my young men all

You'll never take me without trial

Seven times 'round put your ear to the ground

Can you hear the devil calling?

All on your own by the sanctuary stone

As the winter rain starts falling

Housemates I Have Known

For four years, as a graduate assistant, I lived on the bottom floor of a house in a perfect location.  It was one building away from the corner, which was catty-corner from the English building, which was the main place I had to go.  Here are the upper-floor neighbors I had during that time:

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An offer you can't refuse

Even if you don't need ten thousand chick tracts NOW, you should still take advantage.  You never know when you will, after all.  Take it from N.T., from the prestigious Facebook website that you may have heard about.