Friday, January 21, 2005

'Tis a simple dichotomy...

Zelda: The Minish Cap is good.

The United States of America is evil.

Even if Minish Cap isn't quite on the level of the previous GB installments, it's still bloody good fun. There's just something that 2D Zelda games have that 3D ones lack, I'm afraid. Although in general, I'd rather avoid the word "evil" and the religious connotations it brings with it, it's hard to know what other word you can use to DESCRIBE a country that supports, or at the very least is indifferent to, this horribleness. Godwin's Law is fucking moot, okay? If you voted for this, you're a Good German. Choke on it. I don't think I'm very close to beating MC, but I know that it only has five or six dungeons. This was the case in Wind Waker as well, and I find this troubling. Zelda games must have at least eight dungeons, dammit! This is non-negotiable. The ones I've played through so far are long and well-designed, but really, people. Come ON. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just lacking historical perspective. The US has done plenty of other monumentally horrible things in its history. But. But...have we ever had an executive branch as nakedly cynical and contemptuous of the people as this one is? Let alone one that fucking gets REELECTED? God save us all. The fact that, with the advent of the accursed DS, this will likely be the last 2D Zelda game really bothers me. I mean, fine, people like 3D games, you make 3D games. But why can't you at least make a token bow in the direction of the luddite audience? We're out there, dammit! And we buy stuff! Cater to us! What kind of president immediately starts talking about "wars on terror" after a massive terrorist attack? One that doesn't give a flying fuck about actually fighting terror, is what kind.


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