Tuesday, October 13, 2020



WHOA THERE.  Don't do anything you might regret, guys.

Thursday, October 08, 2020

Dirty Joke Number One

Sex jokes are a very significant thing for small children, I feel, because they're a sort of mystical portal into a mysterious "adult" world. And I can remember the first one I heard, with a group of friends (as told by: Luke. Hi there, even though you're definitely not reading this; I know you're not dead, though, as I'm friends on facebook with you and also your mom and sister). I must've been seven or eight at the time, and it's worth noting that I really had no idea about sex at the time: sure, I'd asked my parents where babies came from and gotten the clinical answer, but, uh...I mean, I guess I got that babies emerged from women, but seriously "the man puts his penis in the woman's vagina and sperm comes out." Great, but I was still totally in the dark about what exactly a "vagina" or "sperm" was. Jeez!

Anyway, this is a pretty darn basic joke. You can find it all over the internet. Here it is: there's a classroom. A boy walks in late and, when questioned as to his whereabouts, replies "I was on top of Blueberry Hill." Repeat this with more boys as often as desired. Finally, a girl comes in and says "Hi! I'm Blueberry Hill!" DO YOU GET IT? I sure as hell didn't, I'll tell you that that much; I couldn't speak for my friends, but we all laughed knowingly, because obviously it was extremely vital that we not be seen as lacking the numinous information that was obviously implicit in this incantation.

I'll tell you, though, I remember very vividly the visual image I had in my head upon hearing this, and that was of poor Blueberry with all these boys successively standing on her shoulders, like a totem pole. I suppose that could potentially develop into an extremely strange fetish, but all it gave me was this anecdote. I guess that's a pretty good joke, when you think about it.