Grand Theft Auto killed my dog and slept with my wife!!!!!111

Boy, as if this story weren't embarrassing enough. You don't have anything more important to do, Senator? I tell you, I'm just so proud to be a member of a political party that isn't afraid to get to the bottom of the issues that really matter. I mean, just think of the innocent, dewey-eyed children, laughing with joyful, childlike wonder as they mow down pedestrians and murder prostitutes. Then imagine these same embodiments of Christ-like purity...faced with the mind-shattering horror of a consensual sex scene!!! I weep for humanity when I contemplate all of the young lives irredemably corrupted in one terrible moment. Really, it makes you forget all about meaningless, trivial garbage like illegal war and the vindictive outing of undercover CIA agents. We've got us some MORAL CLARITY here, oh yes we do.