But SERIOUSLY, folks...

I wish I could have a witty, aloof, mysterious blog persona. But clearly, that ain't happening. Everyone knows too much. I just say whatever random shit comes into my head, if I say anything at all. It is rarely calculatedly amusing. Plus, goddamn, man, anyone who wants can access embarrassing amazon reviews I wrote seven years ago, and anyone who recalls my old webpage probably also recalls the peculiar mixture of cringe-inducing earnestness and belabored sarcasm that characterized my social and political so-called commentary. It's a lost cause for me, unless I want to go undercover and start something totally new. But I don't want to do that. Because here I have my momentum going. Whatever momentum I may have. Plus, if I were to do that, I would lose my massive audience, which, when I total it up, might, unbelievably, consist of as many as seven people, plus occasional irregulars who get here from my amazon page and glance around for a few minutes before running away screaming. Incredible! I should be making a living doing this! So yeah. Basically, I'm stuck with being who I am.

But hey, at least I'm not the only one. It is truly amusing to consider that, in the unlikely even that we don't revert to a stone age society, in twenty years or so people running for public office will be desperately, and futilely, trying to obliterate all traces of their embarrassing myspace pages that they created when they were seventeen. We'll know a lot more than we do today about whether our politicians think Justin Timberlake is OMG totally HAWT. So that's something to look forward to.