Of Silas Fauntleroy's Willingness to Influence the Panel

My wife she opened up her mouth, she hands her teeth to me--
She tell me not to return 'til I get her teeth fresh 'n' clean--
remember me to Silas; tell he's filled my dance card tonight.
Remember, boy, I want my mouth fresh. Get them teeth bright white.
Bright white--get them bright white.

Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

I walks down center street, I walks downs the left-hand side.
Silas he was gussied up in a Fauntleroy of bright bright white--
Silas flashed his red wet smile, says I's just the man he need.
He took my tin of tailormades, then he smile leavin' one for me--leavin' one for me.

Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

And Silas ask what's I gots in my hand. I say "well they's my wife's old teeth"--
And then he pat me down for a light, he says "you know, they don't look none too clean."
Silas say my tailormades, he'll use 'em for the judge as bribe--
"Remember me to Dr. Hammer," and asks him if he gottsa light--if he gottsa light.

And I walked into Dr. Hammer's shop and told him of the dance contest tonight,
I Said I didn't want my wife to be disgraced with her old second hand-me-down teeth.
And Dr. Hammer say he surely knew how to influence the panel.
And he grabbed my wife's teeth from me 'n' shoved his fist inside this can.
And as he danced his hand around inside Doc said he saw me
Speaking with Silas Fauntleroy outside--and I could only purse my lips tight like.
And then Hammer asks if Silas got anything offen me.
And I could only put my now-empty hand over my pursin' lips.
And then Hammer withdraws his hand and say those teeth are clean, boy,
But you know, they'll taste...
They'll taste of gasoline.

Well back down the center street not on the left but the right hand--
And Silas liked the look of my wife's teeth he said he needs to get some of them--
And then Silas reached for my wife's teeth; Dr. Hammer blew his Chevy on by.
In this tinderbox town he found the only mud-puddle,
And he dirtied up the Fauntleroy--he dirtied up the Fauntleroy.

Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

And Silas cried he'd never win the dance if he go there lookin' unclean--
I strip him of his Fauntleroy and I dunk it in the gasoline--
And I return with his Fauntleroy that's once again bright white.
Silas asked "what about them matches?" I say "I'll leave 'em with my wife--
So have a blast tonight.

Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah