The Transfiguration of the Muscle Thing

You remember MUSCLE, right? Of course you do. I'm not really sure why we called them "Muscle Things;" I think it was Joedat's nomenclature. He got quite agitated whenever his mother would refer to them as "Muscle Men." They were quite popular during a certain segment of my misbegotten youth. What happened to all the ones I had? Not sure, unfortunately. HOWEVER: the other day, one of the dogs found one god-knows-where in the backyard--one upon which we had inflicted the torments of the damned:



For those of you keeping track at home, that's a large nail through his torso; a medium-sized nail through his left leg just above his foot; small nails through his crotch, right arm, and lower-right leg; and what appears to be a broken nail through his right knee. Also, we beheaded him, which does seem to be adding insult to injury. Still: Jesus eat your heart out. THIS is dying-for-our-sins done RIGHT.

UPDATE: a google search reveals that "Muscle Things" is a term in moderately wide use. Huh.