Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Fuck You Zack Snyder, Part Umptyleven

I just saw a preview for Tales of the Black Freighter, and can I just say, Christ in HEAVEN, everyone involved in this project SUCKS to a greater degree than words can indicate. I know there's no need to spell this out for anyone who hasn't recently suffered a severe head trauma, but since that apparently doesn't cover Zack the Visionary, I'll do it anyway: the Black Freighter segments are not supposed to be awesome, totally-sweet anime violence and mayhem. Their purpose is to serve as a counterpoint to both the immediate action and to Veidt's scheme. Deprived of this, they have no meaning. Saying that they "complete the Watchmen experience" when you're just sort of stacking them on top of the movie without regard for any kind of thematic coherence is little more than gibberish and demonstrates--if more proof were needed--that Zack and co have no idea what the hell they're doing. It boggles my mind that anyone with a functioning cerebral cortex can take this insulting bullshit seriously.

And goddamnit, does the man have some sort of contract stipulating that he must always be referred to as "visionary?" Or are they doing it just to provoke me? Either way, it's a ghastly joke.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous pontificated to the effect that...

I think this is just an intermediate step, and the actual plan is to release a full version of the movie on DVD with segments of Black Freighter (and Behind the Mask?) integrated as in the comic.

But you'll hate that too, I'm sure, so why bother?

10:40 AM  
Blogger GeoX pontificated to the effect that...

Well, Zack, it's pretty obvious that, a., you and your compatriots have no idea WHY you're including this material in the first place; and, b., even if you had the best of intentions, which you don't, there's no way to seamlessly integrate the two. So...yeah, due to my sometimes-unfortunate possession of critical faculties, I think it's a fair bet that I would hate it if I saw it, which thankfully, I won't.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous pontificated to the effect that...

GeoX: I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU LA LA LA LA

10:08 AM  

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