Saturday, July 03, 2010

Tree-huggin, peace-lovin, pot-smokin, porn-watchin, lazy-ass hippies like me

Today I witnessed a bumper sticker that said:



That mainly made me think of this, naturally. One might also make the observation that this is just another bit of evidence that wingnuttery is more a "fuck you" than any kind of coherent ideology, but, while true, that's too banal to be particularly interesting.

For a moment, let's pretend to naïvely take this sticker at face value and respond to it as such. I would have to say: Mr. Republican, while I understand the basic gist of what you're trying to get at here, your rhetorical technique leaves something to be desired. I personally meet three of your four criteria, and all of my friends--rather tautologically--either meet the same three or don't have any problem with people who do. So while "Republican" could potentially cause us to slip into insane blood-fugues, it really seems like, as far as provocations go, this one is remarkably inefficient and could easily be modified to be much more effective at its stated goal.

That's what I'd say were I to take the sticker at face value. But of course, that's not even remotely what's going on here. What Mr. Republican's nebulous hordes of easily-pissed-off liberals actually get upset about is people who believe that white, straight, and male are the default conditions, and that people who meet them should have primacy over people who don't. So the none-too-deep subtext here is that by being these things, Mr. Republican is in opposition to non-white, non-straight, non-male. In other words, this bumper sticker could easily be modified to read "Racist, homophobic, Republican misogynist" without losing any of the essential meaning.

BUT WAIT! It doesn't actually say "racist, homophobic, misogynist," so even though this is the obvious implication, you libruls are just over-sensitive, PeeSee, blahdy blah blah for thinking so! Ha! So it's a twofer! You can piss off the libruls by being a bigoted dickhead and piss them off by pretending to believe that they're just hypersensitive, unlike real American manly men. The fact that they know you're full of shit, you know they know, and they know you know they know just adds that extra frisson of delightful dickishness!

You know, that's awfully rhetorically tricky--albeit in a blunt-instrument kind of way--for people who claim to be regler jes foax, unlike them fancy-dan libruls an their hifalutin book-larnin. It's also awfully assholish for people who allege themselves to be followers of Christ. But, of course, as we've known for quite some time now, it's foolish to pretend to imagine that wingnuts actually believe anything they say, except on a sub-rational id level.

3 Comments:

Blogger Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX pontificated to the effect that...

Test. Blogspot is really flaking out on me in the comments department.

3:36 AM  
Anonymous David Gibson pontificated to the effect that...

You've pretty much summed up your bigotry to those of us possessing the acumen you pretend. Your stereotyping of conservatives as neanderthals and otherwise wild assumptions reaffirms my convictions of liberals. Give it up, you're pathetic. That bumper sticker has nothing to do with hate or bigotry, it merely points of the absurdity of the liberal position. Wake up, Simpleton.

9:22 AM  
Blogger Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX pontificated to the effect that...

Sir, I am shocked! SHOCKED, I say! I would never in a million years impugn the integrity of the noble neanderthal by comparing him to today's "conservatives!" No, I prefer the term "Pyschopathic Death Cultist," if you don't mind terribly.

12:40 PM  

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