A question from ChickCo

I think I can help here.

First: You'd have to explain the concept of "The Bible" to him, as it was rather after his time.  I suspect he'd think it--or at least the way you treat it--was a little weird.

Second:  The fact that you'd think he'd quote from it really demonstrates the extent to which you've fetishized the text.  He would probably talk to you, if you met him, and tell you some parables, but it seems unlikely that he'd go around quoting himself--let alone quoting Paul, or the Old-Testament anti-gay stuff that means so much to you.  It's interesting the way you've made the Bible into a dead, calcified thing--how you assume that he would just mindlessly quote (your preferred interpretive version of) it rather than, like, saying new things.

Third: I know this will come as a shock to you, but Jesus didn't speak English.  I daresay if he were carrying a Bible around, it'd be in the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek.  I know that's disappointing in that it doesn't give you the chance to exercise your King James hobby-horse, but...