Monday, April 03, 2006

An instructive fable

So one time there was this big oak tree. And there were all these reeds growing around it. And the oak tree kept being all like, yeah, you reeds totally suck compared to me. You're just tiny, wussy little plants, whereas I am an awesome, bigass tree. And the reeds had no choice but to sit back and take this shit, because, you know, they were plants. What were they gonna do? So anyway, this went on for a while, until one day there was a hugeass storm. And at first the tree was all like, ha ha! Blow wind blow! Nothing can me! But it turned out he was wrong, because suddenly this really strong gust of wind came and blew him right over! Whereas the reeds bent with the wind and stuff, so they didn't get uprooted. The reeds tried not to take pleasure in their erstwhile rival's downfall--just because he was an asshole, did that really mean he deserved to die?--but there was still a definite sense of schadenfreude going on. But not for long, because then lightning struck the field, and all the reeds were burned to a crunchy crisp. And a few weeks later, the whole area was paved and they put up a Burger King. You can still see it today. It's right down town, next to the Citgo station.

And the moral of the story is, don't be a plant.


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