Tuesday, January 09, 2007

New Chick Tract!

Heart Trouble. I have to say, this is a pretty badass tract. There are many things about it that I appreciate.

First, I love how absolutely delighted the doctor looks, in the third and fourth panels, to be telling his patient ("John") about the grim ineluctability of death. Especially in the forth panel, with his arms crossed--boy, is he glad to be doing this! He obviously really gets a kick out of scaring patients shitless. Love your work!

Also: "inside each heart is adultery, causing people to cheat on their spouses." A novel theory of evolutionary psychology, to be sure! Where did this guy get his medical degree?

I am also extremely fond of John in the panel where he's imagining himself holding a pair of guns, and due to the artist's imperfect grasp of perspective, it looks as though he's a really tiny little guy facing a pair of giants. And goddamn! That look on his face as he's admitting to having told lies is just about the funniest thing ever seen in a Chick tract.

"Blasphemy." "Is that a medical term?" And at first you think John's being sarcastic here--that's a medical term, is it, doc? How 'bout sticking to my actual physical condition here? But then you realize this is Chick World, where almost everybody is comically ignorant of the religion practiced by eighty percent of their fellow Americans. This is confirmed by "Jesus? Isn't that a swear word?" Ya know...if Chick Industries can point to ONE SINGLE AMERICAN who is totally unfamiliar with Jesus...well, then apparently I'll have fallen into Chick World myself. That'd be kind of scary.

Other things I like: the way John starts randomly fulminating about how unspecified people should "be slaughtered." A sure sign of a non-Christian, no doubt! The totally random guy who appears outside the consulting room in one single solitary panel, wearing a shirt depicting a dog labeled "Fang." It's the little things. The alleged commercials for all-purpose anti-STD pills. How come I never see these? And how come we're back to conflating moral and physical issues? And of course the ferocious-looking Evil Heart making "grrr" noises. Don't fuck with that guy.

Finally, we have John going "Then I'm a dead duck...right?" To which we all, inevitably, respond "SPITTING OUT PIECES OF HIS BROKEN LUCK!"

All in all, one of Chick's finest efforts in a long time.



Blogger Kaitlyn pontificated to the effect that...

I read that! It was so weird.

But I guess that's the norm for Chick Tracts. I think I saw a few at my sister's youth group the time I took the dog in. It looked like a comic, and I like comics, so I read it. It was weird.

But this one 'Heart Trouble'! Whoa, I've seen many doctors in my long, wise 18 years on this earth, and if any pulled that sort of shit with me, I'd be gone, and calling my case manager. "Hello, Susan? Dr. So-and-so gave me a clean bill of health for my heart and then started preaching! He wanted to convert me to his religion! Get me a new doctor and put a notation next to his name, please!"

Seriously, I chucked a doctor in Portland who kept asking me if I'd been sexually abused and if my living arrangements were okay.

No doctor who did that outside of the 'Christian Science Clinic' - swear to GOD, there's one on Stage Road in Bartlett/Memphis - would be able to practice his love with patients much longer.

2:37 AM  

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