Do you care for Oasis? No.

Fuck fuck FUCK Oasis annoys the shit out of me. But let me clarify, here: although the fact sort of irks me, I am not denying that Definitely Maybe and Morning Glory are brilliant albums, and I will unselfconsciously sing along to "Live Forever," "Don't Look Back in Anger," "Champagne Supernova," or any of a dozen others. On a good day, I would even be willing to admit that they were able to knock off the occasional decent tune even after that. I can separate the message from the messenger. Nonetheless: fuck I hate fucking Oasis. Or, more specifically, I hate the whole Noel&Liam Show. HOW many times have I had to see their ugly mugs staring at me from the cover of Q? Who finds these two dickheads worthy of this much attention? Why does the world seem to feel obliged to maintain the fiction that there's anything even SLIGHTLY interesting about their "turbulent" relationship? Do they really think they look cool in those stupid sunglasses? Is there any chance of them ever thinking of any cleverer way of insulting people they don't like than calling them "cunts"? We may never know the answers to these questions.

I suppose it's not entirely their fault. For example, by all accounts Crispian Mills is kind of a twat too, but since the press was never so manically obsessed with Kula Shaker as it is with Oasis, it's not something I feel the need to think about. But that's not to say I'm just letting Liel off the hook: sure, the press fixates on them so much, but it wouldn't so much if they didn't fucking lap it up; if they didn't dance like trained monkeys for the public's amusement. They've given us some immortal tunes; fine, great, thanks for the memories. But now I wish they would just go away.

Hmm, maybe there are more important things in the world to worry about...? Nah.

08/09: post edited to reflect the fact that media critic Mark Crispin Miller was not in fact the lead singer of Kula Shaker