Tuesday, January 30, 2007

More Mallard Mallarky

I would like to note with pride that this blog is the number one google hit for the word "Duckfuckery." That'll go on the ol' CV.

Ha ha ha hoo boy. To preview the rest of the week, I think we can expect one or more variations on the following:

-The media is liberal!
-The media is racist!
-The media is racist against conservatives!
-I'm really insufferable!

Okay, so we get that last one every week. Whatevah.

I think racism is certainly going to come up, because otherwise, why this whole deeply unlikely hypothetical scenario? Never mind that it's a bit rich of him to be accusing OTHER people of racism. What makes this even more excruciating than usual is the ridiculous premise. So, um...WHY would you urge some random right-wing crank with no chance of winning to run for President? Why, so you can make lameass anti-media jokes, of course! Was there ever a more forced set-up?

Question: Is it interesting that he can't come up with any actual "RACIST AGAINST REPUBLICANS!!!11" rhetoric to attack and thus has to make stuff up? No, not really. It's pretty much par for the course.

Other Question: could Tinsley REALLY come up with no better way of introducing this guy no one's heard of than by awkwardly sticking his credentials into his letter's salutation?

Third Question: Do you think those few celebrities whom Bruce likes (cf Tom "lesbian orgies in high school bathrooms" Coburn) go "oh god, PLEASE no" when he mentions them, but feel obligated not to say anything because he's nominally on their side?

Fourth Question: Is he actually going to get around to threatening Williams later in the week? 'Cause if not, I'm gonna feel cheated.

Fifth Question: "Bon vivant?" Seriously? Admit it, Tinz: you just thought using a French phrase would make you sound smart. Think again.

Final Question: Why don't you fuck off and die, Tinsley? Seriously, all this good-natured ribbing aside, the fact remains, you're a repugnant little man with no redeeming qualities. Also, a drunk.

UPDATE: Actually, I kind of feel bad about that last one. Tinsley may well have redeeming qualities. It's just that none of them are apparent in his public life, such as it is.



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