Wednesday, January 09, 2008

The Final Battle

I think I might have Hillary Derangement Syndrome. In lieu of venting, I will post this notably incoherent tale from my Wasted! Youth!

by GeoX, age nine

“Finally, the throne is mine!” laughed Averoxien as he approached Xurnox, the capital of Planet X.

When he came to the light ring, he entered without hesitation, and found himself in the throne room where he found his agent, Borox, waiting for him.

“There’s a sixty million dollar jackpot waiting for you when you get back,” said Averoxien.

“Yea?” asked Borox from where’s? [illegible]

“Destroying Mercury,” commanded Averoxien, “and bomb Earth while you’re at it!”

So, that night Borox and Auv set off for Mercury. Suddenly an explosion ripped the air, and turning Borox saw the AFJROV president accompanied by Avpone. Auv shot a fireball but missed and the fireball glanced back and hit Borox’s rocket, killing Auv.

Then Borox learned over the radio that Averoxien had been killed by a Saturnese spy. Then he flew back to both planets to which he had been assigned, bombed them, and flew back to Planet X, only to find that he was new Emperor.


Blogger :-| pontificated to the effect that...

...ok lemme get this straight; Averoxien needs to potty really bad and catches up with Borox handing out warm damp hand towels in the throne room. Averoxien offers Borox 60 million dollars to shine his shoes but first Borox must kill two birds. So Borox and his pal Auv head out but get caught in a cross fire with AFJROV and Avpone out front. Auv is killed by self-inflicted friendly fire while Borox hauls ass the other way. Later, on the hyperlink nightly news spacecast Borox hears that Averoxien gets offed by some pesky Saturnese spy while he was gone and he has to go collect some outstanding debt from a couple of shiftless motherfuckers he's been assigned.

After that Borox flies back only to find out he's the new Throne Room Guy by default but never collects that 60 million because Averxien died with his shoes on without finalizing his Last Will and Testament and Auv's family has it tied up in litigation anyway.

5:29 PM  

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