Saturday, September 15, 2018

Nintendo it is very fun...AND YET.

(HUH.  I realize now that that title is a reference to a bit of juvenilia that I apparently haven't posted here.  Really...?  I would have SWORN I did; I can even kind of remember what I wrote to accompany it.  My mind is getting weird.  Well, very soon.)

So I decided to replay Super Mario Odyssey, and my goodness: I usually shy away from triple-A titles, but I've gotta hand it to Nintendo: this game is SHEER JOY. And what I like is that it's so CONFIDENT about itself: you would think the more "realistic" look for many of the worlds would fail badly, actually works beautifully, in a way that I never would have known if people like me were in charge of making it. Yes, okay, granted, the Broodals are charmless and awful--that was a big swing and a miss--but even that kind of demonstrates Nintendo's confidence. Sure, they screwed up, but it wasn't for lack of ambition. And more often than not--far more often--it's a direct hit. I LOVE THIS GAME. I who never. But man, what I wouldn't give for some DLC worlds: the slew of extra hats is, while not exactly unwelcome, not exactly anything that one can care much about either. People complain that it doesn't "feel" Mario-ish enough--a complaint I'm sympathetic with--so how about worlds based on SMW, SML, Yoshi's Island, etc? GOD THAT WOULD BE SO COOL. OMG. But it's cool anyway; I shouldn't complain. And seriously, "Jump Up, Super Star?" OH MY GOD TEARS OF FUCKING JOY. This is all totally opaque to anyone not familiar with the game. But if you are, you're enthusiastically nodding along. Unless you're some sort of psychopath.

And so: here we have the duality of Nintendo. Because SMO is great. I love Nintendo. But! This Switch online business demonstrates very clearly why I also hate Nintendo. It's just the same goddamn shit they've always been doing: trying to nickel-and-dime people for the same miserly selection of NES games as ever, based entirely on a subscription so you never actually own anything, mucked up with DRM (and as for SNES, Gameboy, N64 games? Some day, if you're lucky, they'll generously let you play a feeble selection of these, too!). All of which wouldn't bother me so much if not for the anti-emulation stuff. Seriously, guys: you don't want anybody to illicitly play your games, and yet THIS is the weakass shit you offer as a substitute? Seriously, Nintendo: fuuuuuuck yooooouuuuu.

MY GOODNESS, I am too old to be going on childish tirades against videogame companies! But you know, sometimes a childish tirade is just what's called for. Je ne regrette rien!


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